RISK (WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?)

 27^th May, 2021

After writing my last blog, and thinking about change, I have also been thinking about risk. It seems like the natural progression really. You think about a change, and then you risk doing it, sort of. This could be at so many different levels. I have never taken any really big financial business risks in my life, never had to. My ex-husband did risk £600 on shares once, which he then lost, and that was really devastating as money was really tight at the time. But I have never been in that kind of position myself. I know that when I have had to make those kind of decisions, I often have weighed up who else would be affected if things went wrong. If it was just me, then that wasn't so bad, but if affected the ones I loved I really had to think really hard about what I was doing.

When I was 16 years old my mother wanted to take me from Yorkshire to live down South. I really didn't want to go. She then said she would get a court order to make me go. My Grandad said he would fight this, but even at that young age I was aware just what a proud man he was, and I didn't want to put through all that, so off I went. Later on in life I was continually trying to work out what was best for me and the children with not much external support, until the day I could change things and not live with my ex-husband anymore. I know now it was a continual risk assessment, but at the time I was just trying to work out where we were going to live and how I was going to support myself and the children, and give them the best that I could. I might not have got it all completely right, but it is now what it is. We are all still here and we survived.

Risk is a strange thing. Sometimes we can live our lives and risk living it in a detrimental way. We can eat excessively, we can drink too much alcohol, or take illicit drugs. All things that can risk our health, but for whatever reason, we carry on. We are all different people, and we are all living a different story. We all may take the risks. The risks that we don't realise are risks. There are many of us that only realise this when it's too late and something goes wrong. We have a health scare, or a mental breakdown, and all of a sudden we realise just what we have been doing. We can be one of the lucky ones. Some people never do realise and their health deteriorates so much until it's too late and they die, which is so, so sad.

Why do we take risks with our lives. Sometimes it's just easier not to think about it, and sometimes it is too scary to think about change (there's that six letter word again). I have been lucky in life really. Yes, there have been a lot of things that I have had to cope with that a lot of other people haven't, but I have survived and I'm still here. I have had many changes in my life, and taken quite a few risks. Yes, they're at a very low level compared to some, but risky enough for me. What I now know is that is never too late to take a risk. If you have to make a decision, are given an opportunity or something has to change weigh up the pros and cons. What have you got to gain, and what you can afford to lose. Can you afford to lose what you lose, and if so then go for it. I think that is what is called a very, very simplistic risk assessment. I know it's always the way I have thought and survived, and learnt a lot along the way.

Now back to Jackie and the weight loss and weight management bit. This Friday is the 28^th May and it is a calendar month since I last got weighed. It is now time for me to risk weighing myself again. You spend all the time losing weight and then, as I have said before, after about 18 months or so you know it has to change into a different, less obsessive, more “normal” way of life, but it's not easy. In the past it has gone wrong so many times, and even though I know it shouldn't go wrong this time I am still nervous.

It's no good me writing in my blog that I have taught myself to live in a more sustainable way of eating and then going back up to 21 stone. Who would know, except my family and the people who know me? I would know. I would feel a failure and, and the dress I got for my son's wedding would not fit me, would it? I haven't quite got to the stage of being awake at night worrying about it, but worry about weight is such a real thing isn't it?

NOW STOP IT, JACKIE!!!

You will get weighed this Friday, and we will see. Yes, you have had some “normal” meals. Yes, you have had some “treats”. But if you can not adjust what you eat and maintain a reasonable weight then you have not learnt anything have you! You know full well what you are doing and you are responsible for yourself! When you eat what you eat you know what you are doing and if it is not 100% healthy you knew the risks involved! :-)

Here endeth the lesson!

That's all until after Friday.

Until next time,

Love, Jackie

xx