7th July, 2021
I have been doing a lot of thinking since I wrote my last blog. I am beginning to feel better, and apart from still being very tired, my mind feels a lot clearer than it did. Having time to think is a real luxury that many of us do not value. Having that time to think, and the ability to think for ourselves without things getting in the way, can stop a problem long before it has time to grow into something more. Many times when something has gone wrong it may have been when so much else was happening and there was no time or strength for caution. Of course, it is also being aware that a potential issue is occurring . To be able to see something happening and hopefully stop it before it becomes a larger problem would have helped greatly in the past.
I have realised this is just what is happening to me at the moment. Firstly I had the issue of me being greatly overweight and this stopping me from being healthy and getting the operations I needed. I managed to start my journey, find the motivation, change the way I eat and start to lose weight. Looking back on it all now it all seems so hard to believe, but I did it. What happened in the next eighteen months is hard to remember now, but I must have done something right, as here I am seven stone lighter in weight. Time will pass no matter what you do, but the small things you do all add up as time passes. That was the second problem solved. How to adjust in a healthy and sustainable way the way I ate so I could lose weight.
There is so much information out there these days and we do not necessarily need an expert to tell us completely what to do. Of course, help is always good to have, but we are all individuals, all of us different and sadly no allowance is made for this. What is often classed as failure is, in fact, the common knowledge not covering the individual's needs. This is where it is good if we can think for ourselves. Hear what is being said, realising it's not quite for us and seeing if there is a way to customise it to our particular needs. Accepting that we are individuals and that we may not fit into the mould gives us the confidence to be, and do, what is right for us. So it is recognising the initial problem, finding the best way to solve it for us and then doing it. BUT I now recognise that I am at a stage where things have gone wrong for me in the past and I need to do something about it! In my last blog I mentioned the lady who started her weight loss journey at around the same weight I am now, in the thirteen stone range and how bad, unhealthy and fat she was feeling. I was feeling quite good about myself, but after reading this the doubt and confusion crept back in. Now I know anyone that knows me will, reading this, probably say “Jackie, don't feel like this, you have done so well” and I know that I have, but I am also, like a lot of us, an insecure human being. We are very good at comparing two things that are similar but not the same and putting ourselves down. If our nature is like this, this is what we tend to do. I have done this many times in the past, and I am starting to do it again now.
In the past I have lost a lot of weight and got down to a weight where I start to feel good about myself. Then, I hear of someone who is the same weight as me and feels unhappy about themselves because they are fat. I then start to lose who I am, what I have done, and my achievement seems to disappear. That, added to the age old thing of life's problems still being there whether or not you have lost weight, and it all could, and has in the past, go totally wrong. Except this time I am starting to be aware of what is happening. This could be the real point in this whole journey that things change for good. I know that I had to lose weight, I found the right way to do it, I lost enough body weight to equal the same amount as my grandchildren and, more importantly, I have realised just where it went wrong in the past and I know I can sort it out.
As I have said, we are all different and if we all try to be the same, things can go wrong. We need to recognise our own abilities, our own achievements and what WE want. Just because someone is starting their journey at a point where you are now does not – NOT – diminish the many miles you have already travelled. Whether you decide to stay at this point or carry on further is up to you. If you feel good, are happy with what you see in the mirror, then that is you. Whether you decide to lose more weight or stay where you are is your decision and nobody else's. Do not compare yourself to anybody else. They have come up from a lesser weight and are bigger, you have come down from a higher weight and are seven stone lighter. Do not, I repeat do NOT, compare yourself. Having said that, now I have realised where I have gone wrong before, I now need to work on what's best for me. It is my life, warts, loose skin and all, and I need a plan for the next stage. I know that losing weight does not take away all the other problems life throws at you, but they will still be solved as they always are, no matter what weight you are. So too can the issue of what weight I want to be and remain at .
Once you can see where things went wrong in the past, you can then put a plan into place to stop it happening and stop history from repeating itself. I really feel for that lady, not being happy with yourself is not good, but that is her issue to sort out and I am sure that she will. I will continue to remember what I am capable of doing and continue my journey on my own path.
Until next time,
Love, Jackie
xx
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