20th June, 2021
Here we are, in June already. I have always found that the time between New Year's Eve and midsummer goes very fast, but this year seems to have gone even quicker. Once we've had my daughter's birthday, and the birthdays for my granddaughter and my son, then Easter, and then my future daughter-in-law's and my grandson's birthday, well, here we are! I have always felt a special connection to midsummer, especially midsummer's eve, but I don't know why. There is something magical about it being still light outside at 10 o'clock at night. It's a special kind of light, and I always try to sit outside that evening, for the last few years in our beautiful little cottage garden. I don't find it easy to stay up late these days because of the pain I am in and the drugs I take for the pain, but I will do my best. I think life is all about trying to do your best. You have to accept the challenges that life throws at you and run with it. Not that I can run, after all these days I can't walk properly :-).
I haven't always had this attitude, I don't think. Earlier life was always a struggle and time was just taken up with surviving. I must admit I never really thought at the time about what was happening, and about physicall changing things until the time I finally separated from my ex-husband. The next 2 or 3 years it was a continuous effort to sort things out, but in the end I did it. Since then I have made a physical and mental effort to get on and enjoy life. I have had quite a few blips since then, especially in 2019 when I spent a lot of time at home, doing very little at all, but I look back on that now as an experience that helped me cope with 2020 and the UK lockdown. Last year I completely threw myself into doing the best I could for myself. Improving my health as much as I could within my limitations, and staying as mentally active as I could. I can't do much of a work out or walk very far, but I can keep my mind active. What is great these days is, with the aid of modern technology, being able to connect with other people in a much quicker way than writing to them. Not just the family on Whatsapp and Zoom meetings, but also complete strangers on social media.
I have started to watch Youtube a lot, especially when the weather was really bad and I wasn't able to sit outside. It's great to watch people talk about things that interest me and, as you've probably guessed, one of them is weight loss. I do take some of it with a pinch of salt. There is so much out there, so many different ideas, but one of the channels I really love is “Carla's Calorie Crush” (3) Carla Jenkins - YouTube. Here is a lady who knew that the time had arrived to do something about her weight. I only started watching Youtube this year, so I didn't see this particular story from the beginning, but she has done very well so far. I decided today to watch the very first episode, where she said why she felt the time was now right to lose weight. I then went on to watch her first weigh in. She is now on week 43, so well into for what is, for a lot of us, a very difficult journey. What struck me was how much we are alike. Carla is about 15 years younger than I am, but I can see by watching that first episode that her reasons for losing weight are very similar to mine. The difference is that she has managed to catch her health issues before they got to the stage mine did, which is terrific. When you are a larger person, a lot of the time you live with being big, you know you are big, but it can seem okay, until that time that your health starts to suffer. It is only then that you maybe think “Enough is enough! I must do something about this”. It took me longer than it did Carla, even though I have tried in the past, but I have got there.
What I love about her posts is her honesty and how she knows herself. It looks to me that we are both doing this in a very similar way and that in many things we think very much alike. She is so down to earth and a very easy person to watch. I admire a lot of people who have Youtube channels. I could never film myself and let people watch me. I think that is a very brave thing to do. Perhaps they don't think that they are brave, but to me they are. I suppose we all have different ways of expressing ourselves. I love my writing because it is just me writing. I know people read my blog, in fact I have just recently passed 30,000 page views, but it is not the same as someone watching me. To me it's just me writing and when written, it's done and I forget about it until the next time.
Youtube seems so much more complicated, and so more obvious that people see you, lumps, bumps and all. I admire some of the vlogers greatly and Carla is one of them. Her attitude for losing weight is so down to earth and she does most definitely know herself, and what it is she needs to do. It seems that both she and I are looking at things in a very similar way and I truly believe that both of us will crack it this time.
I will not go into details about Carla's journey so far, as I wouldn't want to spoil it for those of you that would like to try watching it, and I think it is indeed worth a watch. For me, it is just lovely to watch someone on a very similar journey to mine, and know that there are others out there and I am not on my own. Watching and listening to Carla helps me to think that yes, this is someone else trying a different way of doing this and it is working for her.
As I have said before, losing a large amount of weight is not easy, and takes time and any help and strength given along the way is great support. I will carry on finding that support in as many different ways that I can, and I do know that I and Carla are doing our very best to be our best in the best way we can.
Until next time,
Love, Jackie
xx
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