2nd April, 2021
This last week I have been feeling very tired and run down, not wanting to do very much and I have found myself watching Youtube. I don't watch a lot of conventional TV, I find that there isn't a lot on during the day that I like, but on Youtube you can usually find something of interest.
I have mentioned in the past that I love charity shops, and have done so for about 45 years of my life. I think it probably started when I didn't have a lot of money, and needed to find clothes and things cheaply, but now it's the fun it gives. You just never know what you'll find, sometimes good quality things without spending too much. The buzz it gives you when you find a bargain, and the satisfaction of finding something at a fraction of the ordinary shop price. It is so much fun.
Whilst looking on Youtube the other day I came across someone called Emma Radcliffe, who also has the charity shop “addiction” and talks about the things she finds. You can also find her on Instagram as radcliffe_e.
She is an ordinary mum and wife, and a midwife, and with her down to earth views on life she comes across as a very nice person. She is so easy to relate to and watch.
After watching a few of her videos, I came across one called "Slimming World Update - A Weight Lifted“. Goodness me! As I watched it, it struck a raw nerve with me. What a passionate, honest and heartfelt confession. To cut a long story short, Emma had been attending that well known slimming group and had lost 12 ½ pounds. She then put on ½ pound and over the next week worked really hard to get herself back on track. During this week she went away with her family and found that she could not get the “diet” out of her head, and felt guilty about eating the “wrong” things as she had her weigh-in on the Monday. To make matters worse, she couldn't even feel comfortable about her son cooking for her on Mother's Day because the weigh-in was the next day. Now, some people will not understand what the big deal was, and think come off the diet and go back on, but I remember oh so well how I got so obsessed with weight loss and how it took over my life.
There are many of us that just cannot relax and enjoy life when we become obsessed with what the scales say. For those of us that do understand, the pleasures of life can be sucked away by the fear of that number on the scale.
The story goes on to say that Emma tried so hard that week, feeling very guilty at any thought of being “naughty” and eating “bad” foods and when she went to get weighed she had neither lost nor gained weight, just maintained it. I remember that feeling of trying so hard for seven days and only maintaining my weight and feeling there is no reward of weight loss. What really hurt me and brought a tear to my eye was when Emma said that the group leader had told her “no damage done”, meaning no weight gained. What a real lack of understanding comes across to me from that sentence. “No damage done”. Emma is a midwife who had been working nights, she couldn't enjoy the time away with her family because of the fear of eating the wrong thing, and couldn't even enjoy a Mother's Day meal because the weigh-in was the next day.
“No damage done”? There certainly was damage done, in the fact that dieting can completely take over your life and how you think about food. I haven't really done Emma justice with my brief description of the story, and fully recommend watching her post on Youtube. It so describes how dieting can completely take over your mind and life. Emma went on to stop going to the slimming group and she's now feeling so much better and happier with her self-image and confidence.
Seeing her story confirmed to me that weight loss and the obsessions it can cause is so real to many of us. Feeling like we are not good enough and need to conform to what is expected.
I am so grateful that this time I have been able to look at my weight loss in a completely new way. I knew I had to lose weight for my health and also because of my hopefully forthcoming operations, but I have managed to conquer the obsession with being small. I know I will never be a size 12, and don't want to be. I will be happy to lose – very slowly – another stone and a half, which will bring me down to the low 12 stones mark, eight stone lost in total.
It's all about how you feel about yourself and living the best life you can.
Thank you so much to Emma for being so honest in telling all who watched, how it was for her, and how it made her feel, letting us know that we are not alone in how we feel. We can learn to love the way we are, the way we look and make the best of what we have, without that feeling of guilt. And if that includes a bargain in the charity shops once they open again, well so much the better :-)
Until next time,
Love, Jackie
xx
No comments:
Post a Comment