7th November, 2020
I have recently read about the guilt and failure someone had felt for losing weight and then putting it back on again. There was real pain in their words as they felt that they had wasted this year and had nothing to be proud of because they had failed. I know this feeling too well. You are trying to conform to some kind of “normal” that society say is there. Quite often, in my experience, if your weight has reached a very high level – in my case it was called “Morbidly Obese” - there are many reasons for getting to that point. It's so complicated. What has happened to that person can be complex, and the solution is not really give that person a diet plan and weigh them every week.
Their problems can be really different to the person who just wants to lose a few pounds to look good for Christmas or for a holiday. Now, I know their need to lose weight is important to them and I would never belittle that, but their case is very different from the person that has to lose 10 stone or more for many reasons.
Yes, they both have to lose weight, but a generic plan will not work for both. They are, as I have said, both different with different issues. What I found so painful when I was reading this person's story was they blamed themselves for their failure.
Now, I can hear some saying, if they ate the wrong food then it is their fault, and yes, when I put weight on, it was my fault because I overate. What is not your fault is that you don't realise it is not just about eating food. That can be put right with a diet plan, whatever it is. If you follow it you may lose weight, but if it does not address the reasons why you eat that way, the weight will not stay off for long. You do not fail, the system you are using – and quite often paying for – is failing you.
It is expecting you, the person who has to lose 100 lbs or more, to be the same as the person who only needs to lose 10 lbs, and, do you know what? You think you are the same too. You don't realise why it is failing you. After all, how can it fail? It works for so many others. But the problem is, you are you and your needs are different.
I want to say to that person who thinks that they have failed, and anyone else out there who may think the same, you have not failed. You just haven't learnt enough about yourself yet. Look at why you eat the way you do. Really think about what has happened in your past that causes you to have these real issues with food and what you need to do to address this.
I know it's not easy, but it can be done. I find it so painful and so sad when I read about someone who is dieting and feels that it is their fault when it goes wrong. IT goes wrong, not you. You are more than a few words that tell you what to do. You are you and you can work out what is good for you. No one else. Just you.
You will not fail if you honestly think about the issues, get the help you need and be the person you need to be.
Until next time,
Love, Jackie
xx
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