22nd November, 2020
After writing my last blog, I realised how much better I was feeling. I was inspired by a Facebook comment from Louisa at Louisa Farret Styling, which mentioned being grateful to your body and knew that really, in so many ways, I had not thought about being grateful to something that has kept me going through so many difficult and different times.
I have been trying so hard to lose weight while this time also doing my best to retrain my brain to think differently. It had become an obsession, I had to be able to keep going and lose those 88 pounds. I do tend to obsess about things, that is part of my nature. There is nothing wrong with that if you can achieve your goal and you know when to stop. That is the key, to know what to do once you approach where you want to be and reach the target you need to be. The longer this takes it should get easier, and in lots of ways it does, but in other ways it gets harder. At some point the longer it takes the pressure starts to grow. You know how to lose weight. You have learnt how it is possible, in theory at least, to keep that weight off, but that is still theory until you actually put it into practice. When you get near to the transition period it is scary to think about moving onto unknown ground.
As I said in the past, I am not one to think about my achievements and really be proud of myself. I will be the first to tell my family and friends I am proud of them for their achievements, but until now I have not treated myself the in the same way. A lot of us do that, we do not treat ourselves the way we treat others, and we really should. We have the right to look after ourselves and be the best we can. I have never really had the time, energy or circumstances in my past to think about me. How I live my life, how I think and what I look like. It may sound a little selfish but when you have given so much it's not wrong to give to yourself now and then.
I am so grateful that I have overcome so many obstacles in the past and I am still here. I am a firm believer that you learn from all of life's experiences, both good and bad. They make you stronger. Nearly everything can be turned into a positive or at least help us to be grateful for what we have. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I owe it to myself with the years I have left to make the most of my life.
To move forward into unknown times is scary but it is also exciting. What I can do is slightly limited by my health issues and mobility problems, but I am not going to let that stop me. I am going to spend the free time that I am now blessed with learning as much as I can about looking after me and being the best I can. I am going to spend time looking at what I can wear, looking after my skin and body and improving the way I look. Not because I am selfish, but because I want to feel good about myself and have more confidence.
Surely the time I give myself will make me a stronger person and be able to give so much more to those I love without feeling worn out and drained.
In these present times we should all do our best to be grateful for what we have. We have, at many different levels, more than a lot of others have and it would be wrong to waste what we have or have achieved.
I will always do my best to be grateful for what I have and will try to stop thinking about what I don't have and move on to a new stage of my life trying to be as positive as I can be.
Until next time,
Love Jackie.
xx
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