24th May, 2020
It would be lovely to say that the lockdown is getting easier, but
I'm not sure that it is.
In the beginning there were challenges, but for me personally I have, for the most part, been able to adjust.
It was novel at times sitting out in my front garden, talking to
people as they went by and it did make my day easier, as did the
small walks out for exercise and to meet Steve from work.
Last year when I didn't want to go out, I could stay at home and take
the pressure off myself, but now I want to be able to go out to our
village tea room, or out for a meal with Steve and we can't.
There is also the fact that everyone seems to have their own
interpretations of what we can or cannot do, and sometimes I find it
difficult to deal with.
Such as when you have to walk out into a busy road because someone is
blocking the pavement whilst talking to their friend and doesn't see
you coming even though you are using a wheeled walker.
Still, we can only be responsible for ourselves and not other people.
We have to try to do the best we can to keep ourselves safe and well,
both for ourselves and for the ones who love us.
I am continually looking at what I do every day and adjust how I do
things.
This week I have not been feeling so well, so it has been harder. Not
from Covid-19, but from a condition I have called Meniere's Disease.
I have had this now for about fourteen years, and the symptoms come
and go so I am never really sure how it is going to affect me on a
day to day basis. I have almost lost all the hearing in my right ear,
my balance is not always great, I suffer with very loud tinatus in my
ears and I get vertigo attacks of differing strengths and brain fog.
There is no cure for Meniere's Disease, only medication to relieve
the symptoms that does work for some, and a treatment where you can
have a steroid injection into your eardrum.
I had this steroid treatment done at the beginning of March and I
think it is now starting to wear off and this is what is causing the
symptoms I have had this week after having some relief over the last
2½ to 3 months. Because there is no cure you can only try to live
with it. It can change your life as a lot of things can, but the way
I try to look at it is you have a choice to make the best of what you
have and adapt. A little like that old saying “If life gives you
lemons, make lemonade”.
Now that's not always easy, especially if you don't have the recipe,
and all our tastes are different, but if the quality of your life is
going to be the best you can make it with what you have, then you
have to work it out.
I know that with myself I have to constantly remind myself what my
aims are and work at them on a daily basis. As my son said to me recently, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. I have never run a marathon. I
wish I could but that particular thing will never happen for me now,
although I have heard about what happens from people who have done
it.
You start off full of enthusiasm, then you get to the stage where you
hit the wall and it becomes more of a struggle, and then you see the
finishing line and you know you are there. This is a very simplistic
version of the process, but that is how I see the rough idea.
In my situation I am continually having to look for ways to break
through the “wall” of weight loss. I started because I knew what
I had to do. I know where the finish line is, but it's the journey I
have to constantly look at. It's not easy at the best of times,
without life's changes getting in the way.
I was going to write my blog on a different subject today but felt
that as this was on my mind, I should write about this instead.
Still, on the plus side, I have some ideas jotted down for next time
– which is always a positive!
Until next time, take care and I'll keep on making lemonade.
Jackie
xx
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