OLD HABITS DIE HARD

2nd May 2020

They say old habits die hard and from my experience they certainly do.

The weight problem I have had with me all my life was born out of habits I formed from a very early age and a lot are still deep within me.

When you decide to lose weight, you may think it's just a case of eating less and exercising more, and technically it is.

However, the habits that you have acquired can hinder that process greatly and the result. This last year I have actively tried to look at these habits and change, not always sucessfully. It is definitely a work in progress.

What I did know at the start of this new attempt is that what I had done before had not worked.

Well, it had as far as losing the weight was concerned, but I was not really aware of what I needed to change to keep it off. I am not alone there I think, as many other people lose weight only to put it on again. For whatever reasons the habits that enabled the weight to be there, seemed to help it come back on again.

We are all different and individual, and the habits we have may be similar or different to the next person who also has a weight problem. Large or small the weight problem is real to us and chances are we have acquired our habits for whatever reason things happen in our lifes. I knew I had to consciously think about my habits and try to address them if I was to stand a chance this time.

Here are some of the habits I have identified and tried to change. As I said, a work in progress. But here we go.

I must say at this point I started writing this blog on Monday and it is now Saturday. It is so hard at the moment to keep motivated to do the everyday things and as much as I enjoy doing it, it has been difficult to sit down and write. I promised myself if I start something I WILL finish it, so here I am again :-)

While I have not been writing I have been thinking, and here the six habits I have identified that have had an impact on my weight loss journey and need to be worked on,..

1. PUTTING MYSELF UNDER PRESSURE
   I am an all or nothing type of person and in the past I have cut back on my calorie intake big time to lose weight because I thought that is what you did. It worked, but as we now know, not in the long term. What I have also done is buy clothes three sizes too small in the hope of getting there, and I may do, but the pressure that that causes can be immense and leaves me open to failure.
2. PUNISHING MYSELF FOR NOT ACHIEVING WHAT I THOUGHT I SHOULD
   In the past I would really feel bad if I didn't lose a lot of weight each week. This time I have only lost about a pound a week and in the beginning that made me feel really frustrated. I have had to come to terms with the fact that that is the way it is, and live with it, but it is really hard. I am consciously trying to eat three healthy meals a day. Because of the constant pain I am in I can't exercise much so the weight is going down very slowly and I really have to accept that this is better in the long run for me and not punish myself mentally for this.
3. THINKING ABOUT WHAT I WOULD LOOK LIKE WHEN I LOST WEIGHT, NOT WHAT I LOOK LIKE NOW.

I used to think it was not worth looking after my appearance until I had reached my goal. I got to the stage this last year where I hated looking in the mirror and had no full length mirror in the house. What I am beginning to realise is that if I don't look after myself as an ongoing thing I will not keep up my motivation to achieve what I need to do.

4. EATING FOODS AS A TREAT
   Now, there is nothing wrong with having a treat now and again, but as I have said before I have an all or nothing nature. What I have to look at is being aware of what I am eating, the reason I am eating it and the quantity of the “treat” I am eating or drinking. Just have a small treat now and again and get back on track.
5. THINKING I WAS A LESSER PERSON AND A FAILURE
   My self esteem has never been great, if I am honest and even when I have felt good about something I had done there was always a little voice inside me telling me a different story. The habit was formed that when I felt that I had failed I would give up and self-destruct rather than forgive myself, pick myself up and carry on. This leads on to...
6. THINKING LOOKING AFTER MYSELF WAS NOT IMPORTANT
   I like to think I am a caring person. I am a mother, grandmother (nan nan) and wife and I have and always will give all that I have to support my family.
   Family is important to me, but what I have forgotten is how to look after myself.
   What I have realised in the past year especially is how you can't “pour from an empty glass”. I would never give up on my family, but I had given up on myself. My weight problem has helped to cause other problems; my health has suffered and I now need to address this to improve my situation before it's too late.
   I am due to go back to see my orthopedic specialist in August and we have agreed that I should reach a certain weight to be able to be considered for a hip replacement, followed by a knee replacement on both knees.
   I am really trying not to put myself under pressure to do this and to just do my best, but it is hard.
   So there you are. Some of the habits I have identified that I have, and I have now started to go through what I can do to change them. As I said, it's still a work in progress and I'm sure that this progress will appear somewhere in future blogs.
   For those of you that read my blog, take care of yourselves and I'll see you all next time.
   Jackie x x