18th October, 2021
You hear so many people say things like “It doesn't matter how you look, you should be satisfied with how you look when you are overweight, be fat positive” etc. etc., and I can see why people might say these things, but are they right? It is so hard for anyone that is overweight in a world where quite often it is seen as wrong. It is seen as ugly and wrong and so much pressure is put on people to look good. We are looking at looks at the moment, not health. Just purely looks. There is a movement at the moment to be proud of being bigger and plus size, and having been this way most of my life, I can see why this movement is there. Whether it's because they find losing weight too difficult, or they are genuinely happy with the way they are, they should be allowed to be the way that they want to be, and be proud of it. I wish in some ways that it had been like this when I was young. To be able to be happy with the way I was. Not really that much overweight, but made to feel that there was something wrong with me.
When I was young, I knew I was bigger than a lot of girls, and a lot of boys weren't interested in me, but I did have boyfriends and I got on with life. Then I met someone who told me I could be so much better if I lost weight. The first time I went to a club to lose weight I was 16 years old, and I weighed 13 stone, the same as I weigh at the moment.
As time went by I got heavier and heavier (all due to bad dieting, I realise now) and the heaviest I got to was twenty-one stone. Now, I was told, from a young, age I was ugly from my mother, and later, from my first husband. Being young, I listened to them and this affected me for a great part of my life. It's funny how I found what they said so much easier to believe then when Steve tells me I am beautiful no matter what I weigh, but that's what many years of brainwashing does to you. So I can understand why this movement is there to be plus size or overweight and want to stay there and be beautiful, and they are. They have a right to be. I worry about their health, but that is the issue they will not see while they are young.
I was healthy when I was young, it was with age that the physical problems started! When I reached my heaviest weight twenty stone plus, I had to lose weight for health reasons. I knew that I needed to lose weight because of diabetes and my joint problems, but towards the end it was the way I looked that really upset me more. I looked, in my opinion, fat and old and I didn't want to look in a mirror or have my photo taken.
Now, was that many years of being told I was ugly, or was it really because I just didn't like the way I looked? I do like the way I look weighing 102 pounds less and a by product is that my diabetes is much better and I have had my first joint replacement. So does it matter how you look? Should you lose weight to look better, or to be healthier? Should you be allowed to be bigger all your life and be proud of who you are? Will your ideas change as you get older and your health may get worse? And if your health does get worse, then whose fault is it? All these questions just go to prove how complicated the weight issue can be.
I think what it all comes down to is someone being allowed, if possible, to work out what is right for them. In today's world of influencers that is not always possible. The pressure is still there for the young, just now in a much wider form than it was for me. I know that for me, all these years later, I have been able to find myself and I know now what is right for me. My health is important, however for my confidence how I look is important too. It is finding the right balance that is important.
I am older now, but looking back I know how other people, and the system, has had such an effect on my life. I am a different person now, and have learnt so much through my life, but for the young, and the ones easily influenced it isn't much different.
Does it matter how you look? That should be up to you, it is your personal choice. Be the best you can be for you because it's you that matters.
Until next time,
Love, Jackie
xx
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