24th June, 2020
I am writing this blog at 8:30 in the morning. I don't
think I have ever started writing this early before, but there's a
first time for everything. Firstly I must start with a confession. It
was just the way I was feeling this morning, one of those times you
feel the way you do, you don't know why and then my porridge boiled
over in the microwave! That was it! I decided that was having honey
in my porridge. Not only banana, but honey! So I had it. 50 odd extra
calories in my porridge, the end of my world, my diet was spoiled for
the day. I was going to put the four stones back on in five minutes,
that was the end – NOT! It didn't matter, it was one of those
moments and do you know what? I didn't even like it. It was far too
sweet, but there you go, moment over, lesson learned as I chuckled to
myself.
Now the reason for my blog title this time. Have you
ever felt that when you meet someone they don't really get who you
are, or have you seen someone that looked different and instantly
decided you don't like them, they look scary, strange, they are not
your type for whatever reason. Back in the early 90s I was studying
for a qualification to teach adults. We were all sitting there at the
start of the class, chatting away, when in walked this bag lady, a
tramp, badly dressed and carrying two big carrier bags. She just
walked in, chatting away. We just looked at each other in disbelief.
She moved around the room, looking for somewhere to sit chatting to
individuals as she progressed, causing both chuckles and embarresment
to many people as she passed. It was a very strange situation as she
couldn't find anywhere to sit, and one of the males students wasn't
so happy when she sat on his knee :-). She moved back to the front of
the class and we thought she was leaving, much to the relief of some
of those in the room. But, no! She stood there and started to take
some clothing off. All of a sudden there was a gasp in the room as we
realised that she was the tutor!
That day was our lesson, as adult education tutors, that
all your students would not be the same, would not learn in the same
way and to try to accept them for who they are. Individuality is
something to celebrate, but unfortunately it isn't always accepted
for many reasons.
We are judged by how we look, how we behave, how we
speak, how we dress, and quite often wrongly.
I love many kinds of music from rock to classical. It's
the music itself, not always who performs it. It's not always easy
for me now to listen to some music because of my hearing problems,
but I love the diversity, We once went out to an all day gig, a
fundraiser for a local charity, and we got chatting to the chap who
was running the event. I happened to mention I liked the American
Progressive Metal band Dream Theater, and he said to me that I didn't
look like the sort of person who would go to a Dream Theater concert!
What does that statement really mean? I asked him that, and he just
didn't know what to say! Steve has seen Dream Theater numerous times
and I have seen them three times. Do you know, we have seen leather
clad rockers, people in jeans and t-shirts, all ages. Once there was
even a lady in twin set and pearls (not me, I hasten to add). Does
there have to be a look to be authentic and true?
I think it is thought in society that this is so, and to
a certain extent it has to be. In certain places an accepted look is
necessary, whether it is in the workplace, some formal occasions,
religious places etc., but there is always room for individuality.
Knowing who you are and being able to express that in the way you
look is important, but as I have said it is not always easy. Things
change, we change and sometimes who we are sometimes seems to
disappear. It's almost like all of a sudden we feel lost and unable
to express how we feel. Some people do not really see us for who we
feel we are. We almost feel, at best, misunderstood, or, at worst,
invisible.
I know, with myself, that I feel that way. I am big (but
getting smaller), a lot older than I was with my hair now a lovely
silver white and I walk with a walker, but I don't feel seen or often
not taken seriously by strangers I talk to. If I can get the chance
to talk to them, then they often change their mind, but you don't
always get the time to talk. I feel now is the time for me to change
that feeling, and I am beginning to learn new ways that this can be
achieved.
I should add, before I finish for today, that I am
trying so hard to not let it matter what people think, but we all do
feel that way sometimes, and anything that can be done to boost
confidence can't be a bad thing, can it?
My learning curve just got steeper, but it could be fun.
Who knows?
Jackie
xx
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