I wasn't really sure what I was going to write about in this update. Sometimes I do know, but sometimes I have no idea until I try to write it.
This time I started with one idea and then had another idea. So now I've got two ideas but still unsure of which one to go with. A bit like you feel in life sometimes, not sure what you want to do, or what you should do, or even what you think others want you to do.
In the end, this weeks blog is about something that just provoked a strong feeling in me.
I'd read on the internet a couple of weeks ago about a woman who had gone to the BAFTA awards last year to accept an award, and was unhappy that she had been criticised for the way she was dressed.
She wrote an article about it this year, just before this years BAFTA ceremony, to say how unhappy she was. I don't remember the whole article but what I do remember was that she was saying that because of her dress size (an 18 to 20 UK size) she could not get designer dresses and had gone to a department store to get a dress. She loved the look of it and as she was a comedienne she thought it shouldn't matter what she looked like anyway. After all, the award was for her work, not what she looked like.
Now there is a part of me that agrees with this and a bit of me that doesn't. I remember another comedienne who is also large in size (although she has lost weight over the past few years) but even at her biggest she always looked good and appropriately dressed for where she was.
Sometimes, especially in the media, celebrities are expected to look a certain way and depending on the occasion dress in a certain way. It is what is expected. And there is a good chance that if they looked different then it would be commented on.
In real life, we wouldn't dream of going to a wedding in jeans and a t-shirt if it is a formal do, so whoever you are, the occasion determines how you dress. If you choose to be different then have the confidence to carry it off or know that next time you might be hurt by the comments of people that don't really matter.
Of course, when you're a celebrity, they say that any publicity is good publicity, so it did get her noticed again this year. I do feel for anyone who is hurt by other peoples comments. People are so free to comment about others, especially when it comes to appearances, behaviour or how someone sounds. If you see someone who is really large eating in public, we might think "look at them, do they never stop eating?". We may see someone who is unstable in walking or has slurred speech and assume that they are drunk, when in reality they may be unwell or even have had a stroke.
I know that I have had times in my life that just because I was large I was made to feel stupid, or not good enough to get a job, to wear a certain dress style, or even allowed to have a valued opinion.
We have the right to be who we want to be, and if we are whoever we are at a certain moment in time, we should be given the dignity and respect we deserve.
There is a saying "You can't change how people treat you, or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react to it."
Know what you want and how much you want it and even though there are times you feel it's not going to happen, keep going because if it matters you WILL do it.
I once attempted to do A-Level psychology but I never took the exam, there was too much pressure in my life at the time. What I took from it was that things are very rarely what they seem. You never know other people's reasons for why they behave the way that they do, but if you are happy with what you are doing that's all that matters. If not, then do what you can do to change it - but because you want to, not for someone else.
Next time, less of the heavy stuff. I will be talking about FOOD!