18th July, 2021
Last time I wrote, it was about feelings and how they can affect us. How they do can differ greatly depending on what state of mind we are in. And that is what I am thinking about today – our mind. If our mind is in a strong place we can deal with issues a lot easier, then if it is not. I know when I first saw the first specialist about my knee,yes it was just my knee then, six years ago now, and he was downright rude to me. I could not deal with it in perhaps the same way as I could now. It was obvious he did not like operating on what he thought were, quote, “fat people”. He said at the time that in his opinion fat people were unhygienic and because of this did not heal properly and it was a waste of time operating on them. Now I don't know if this is completely true, but I have known a few slim people in my time who were not clean, as I have also known larger people who are. I know at the time I really should have said something, but I was in so much pain and I wasn't able to deal with it . I am still in a lot of pain now, but have come to terms with my situation and I am in a much better state of mind which has been helped greatly with the far, far better relationship I have with my current specialist.
The mind is indeed a very complex thing, studied by many a scholar, but all we need to know is how best to use it on a daily basis, if we are healthy enough to do this. My thoughts at the moment are about how our minds come into play when we need to lose weight. I have said before that this is completely different if you have only a few pounds to lose, than if you have to shed a hundred or more. It's the motivation to start, then to look at what bad habits are ingrained, and then the time scale that all this takes. To lose a lot of weight well and in a safe way can take a long time. My current (and last) weight loss journey has taken me two and a half years, but only really seriously the last eighteen months. It does take a long time, not only to lose the weight, but also to change the habits that really, deep down, we might not want to change. We would much prefer to carry on with the way of eating that we like, and just wake up one morning to find that the weight has magically just vanished. Real life just doesn't quite work that way. You do sort of wake up one morning to find the weight has gone and your life has changed in oh so many ways, but that takes quite a while. If you are like me, then you'll look back and you won't really be able to get your head around how you actually did that.
I don't profess to know a lot about the mind, I am learning how mine works, but what I do know is that it takes hard work to make it work in a beneficial way so you can achieve what you want to. What I have learnt in my weight loss journey, which is personal to me, is that in the beginning I had to change things quite a lot. Looking back now, I didn't think I had, but I did. What I had to do is be very firm with myself and know, firstly, why I was doing what I was doing, and secondly how I was going to do it. Knowing why I was doing it seemed sort of easy. Having said that, it wasn't. I started seeing the dietician at the end of 2019 and that year physically and mentally had not been a good one for me. I had spent the whole year trying to see a new orthopaedic specialist, having been sent to a physiotherapist in the first instance. Now, what they thought the physio could do for me, when the joints had all worn away I am not sure. That same physio would not even believe me when I insisted something more was wrong. This turned out to be true at the end of 2019 when they finally realised something was very wrong, and it was then I got to see a specialist very quickly.
Sorry, I digress. Anyway, I saw the dietician and slowly began to realise I had to change the situation I was in. No disrespect to her, she didn't really tell me much I didn't already know about food, but she listened to me and that was a start. By the time I saw the specialist in March 2020, I was mentally ready to lose weight myself and it was a good job I was, as because of lockdown I had to do it myself without any real professional help. So I knew why I had to do it and was ready! I then had to work out how I was going to do it. I also had to seriously think about what had gone wrong in the past and try to change it this time. Now, we all know it basically comes down to calories in being less than calories out, but it is not quite as simple as that. I can't really exercise that much so it's difficult for me to increase the number of calories I burn off, and because of this I really needed to make the most of my calories in. This is sort of where the mind comes into play. You are aware of how many calories you can eat and lose weight, but you are used to a certain way of eating. A way of eating that has caused you to be overweight. You have to try to eat differently, still get the nutrients you need and also satisfy your mind. You don't want to change the way you eat. Technically, you shouldn't have to change much about the way you eat. You should be able to eat slightly less calories and eat slightly more healthier, and it should work, but for me it didn't carry on being that way. In the beginning it did, but my habits were not changing enough. All the time I was eating in the same way, my mind wasn't adjusting to form new habits. I didn't need to because it could cause cravings and force me to eat more. I soon realised I had to completely change what I was doing in order to force new habits to form. I cut out the calories I didn't need, cut out the foods and drink that wasted calories and learnt to eat the amounts I needed to at different times of the day. I was lucky that during lockdown we couldn't go out to eat , but we were still able to get takeaways delivered if we wanted and all of this had to be taken into account. I really had to learn about myself and how my mind and body worked, and how I could retrain my mind, even if I couldn't retrain my body.
This way worked for me and even though I still haven't completely changed all my eating habits I am definitely getting there. We are always being told what we do with our bodies is important with weight loss but still there is not enough emphasis on the role that the mind plays. I see some diet plans are now going that way but it all still comes down to your weight loss, your mind set. Something you can only do for yourself. So all I can say is even if I don't have a lot of control over my bodily health at the moment, I can at least work on my mind's health. The healthier the mind is, the more chance you have of looking after yourself and achieving the new habits that you need in order to succeed long term.
That's all for now,
Until next time,
Love, Jackie
xx
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