MY BLOG

 2^nd March, 2021

The sun has been shining, which is always a bonus, and my husband Steve has had a week off work. It would have been the date of the second attempt for my son and his beautiful fiancé to get married, but once again Covid has intervened, and the lockdown is still on. Fortunately, another date has been arranged, and we are all hoping that this time it will go ahead and we will, finally, all be together. We have not seen my son and his fiancé for a year now, and my daughter, son-in-law and two grandchildren since last August, so it will be lovely to get the whole family together again soon.

2014 was when I last lost weight, and it was the birth of our Grandson that inspired me to do it. Back then I just slipped back into my “dieting” habits of eating less and less to get to a good weight loss each week, and worried purely on my looks rather than my health. I know now it was bound to fail, as many attempts had failed before, but back then I didn't know any different. I knew what I needed to do to lose weight in a healthy way, but that didn't mean I was going to do it. I wanted results, and I wanted them quickly. I was waiting every week for the group leader to see my results and tell me how well I had done. That was all that really mattered, and of course my family telling me too.

Now, don't get me wrong, encouragement is good, but if you have not got the right mindset all the work is for nothing. So many “diets” fail, because they are not fitting into your lifestyle and giving you a sustainable way of living. That is why it has been so different this time around. I was doing it for myself, the only person that saw the scales – when I finally got some – was me, and I didn't have to worry about going to group meetings every week and worrying if I had, or hadn't lost weight. During lockdown I had plenty of time to look at just why I wanted to do this and look at the best way to do it for me. I will now finally get to the reason why I am writing this post and the title I have chosen :-)

When I started to lose weight back in 2014 I also started to write this blog. I can't now remember exactly why I decided to put my thoughts down this way. Back then I think I just wanted to document what I was doing for my grandson to read and the internet seemed the best way to do it as opposed to writing a diary. That is how it started. A way of putting down my thoughts on what I had been doing. I discovered that I really liked writing, but then after a while it all stopped. I had started to put weight back on and my new found love of writing was put on hold because deep down inside I felt that I had failed and didn't want to talk about it.

Fast forward to 2020, and for many reasons, which I have mentioned before, I started to write it again. How different it all seems to have been this time. I think when  I started to write before, I didn't really realise just what it meant to me. I was just writing it to tell others what I was doing. I think that is still there, but this time it was also there to help me clear my mind. To be able to talk to myself when no one was around and truly express my feelings. Now I do know that other people do read it, and that is great, but I don't know who they are, and makes it so much easier to say what it is that I want to say. If I helped just one person that has read my posts, well that would be marvellous. If one person thinks that they are not alone, that others have the same struggles and have beat them and now think that they could do the same, it really helps me to continue putting pen to paper.

I do love to write, and being able to clear my mind as the words go down on paper is such a benefit to my now different way of life.

When I first started my blog, I really didn't know about many people who were doing the same for their weight loss. There must have been some, but I didn't really look that much. These days so many have Youtube channels and I really do love to watch them and seeing other peoples experiences and advice. Youtube is not for me, but my writing will carry on. My blog has meant so much to me in so many ways. It's something I love to do, and it helps keep me focused. It makes me accountable to myself, and in the future my grandchildren may read it and hopefully understand more about their Nan Nan. Goodness knows what they will think, I may never know, the same way as I don't often know what other people who read it think. What I do know is that it is an honest account of me, my journey, my highs and my lows. And that, after all, it all that really matters.

That's all for now, until next time.

Love, Jackie

xx