2nd December, 2020
Many years ago now, seems like a lifetime ago, I was in an abusive relationship. I was young and a little more naïve than I am now (still a work in progress) and did not have any family support whatsoever. My father had never been there, I was disowned by my mother shortly after marrying my first husband and my grandma, who I looked after, had Alzheimer's. My husband's family really didn't understand what was going on. Any friends I had made, especially after I had my children, my husband got rid of one way or another, except for one who I still know today, even though we now live 250 miles away from each other.
I was near enough completely on my own, coping with an abusive husband, looking after two small children and an elderly relative with Alzheimer's. I did my best. That is what I felt I had to do, I struggled on , but slowly I found it harder and harder. I had very little money and no way out. Now, this is not a “feel sorry for Jackie” story, I promise. I resorted to going to see my doctor, who was very old school, near retirement and middle class, as I didn't know what to do. His advice was either do something about it or put up with it. At the time I thought “thank you very much – NOT!”, but now, looking back years later, I can sort of see what he meant.
Resources these days are limited, but back then there was very little help at all. At one point I was offered a place in a refuge, but at that time I weighed up the pros and cons and didn't think it was for us. We weren't in physical danger, at least not at that time., and rightly or wrongly I progressed through the years. I did have a plan. I retrained, got qualifications, which helped for a while, got different jobs and eventually managed to split from my first husband. I still made sure he was okay, I may add, he had alcohol and mental health problems, I am just that kind of person, but you can't help being the person you are. Anyway, in the end, we had survived and life went on.
You might be thinking at this stage what has this got to do with weight loss? Going back to the days when that doctor said that to me it was not easy to take, but if you are in a situation you have to make that decision. Do you do something about it, or do you accept it? It's not easy and everybody's situation is different but if you really want to something you have to try to do something about it, no matter how long it takes. I started thinking about this because I hear so many reasons and excuses as to why some people can't lose weight. On the internet there are so many groups where they say weight loss is not possible.
There are many reasons why weight loss may not be easy. Hormones, medication, not being able to exercise or other health reasons, but it is possible. I have proved it. You really must want it and put the work in. Seeing a purpose to what you want to do, knowing the reason and finding the way. It may take a lot of time and you may have to do it by yourself but you can do it. That feeling when you have looked at what you want to achieve and found a way to do it, and then finally done it is amazing. You may struggle along the way and it may take a long time but you can do it.
In these present times knowledge is so much more easily accessible, and understanding of situations has moved on greatly with so much more support available, but it still comes down to you yourself no one can do it for you. Know what it is you want to achieve, do your research and go for it and at least you can say you've tried.
My weight loss has come to a standstill at the moment. I can't do much exercise because of my health and mobility problems and I don't feel I can cut down too much more on my calorie intake (I'm not doing 1000 calories per day like I did last time) but I will not give up. My goal was to get to the weight and BMI I needed to be at for my hip operation, which I did, but I still have a little more I'd like to lose in the New Year for our son and future daughter-in-law's wedding next November.
So, Jackie, look at what you have achieved and move on. And move on I will because it may not always be easy, but I will not give in that easily. I want to do something about it and I will.
Until next time,
Love Jackie
xx
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