27th April, 2022
How many times do we really think – really, really think – about how things are? We can think about the automatic things in life, like eating when we feel hungry or drinking if we feel thirsty. These are feelings that we act on. How often do we forget to do these things if we are busy and don't get that “feeling”? Then that depends more on a feeling than a thought. A feeling that can be put off, depending on circumstances. We can worry, but worry is also something that can be automatic. Something is going to happen, or may happen, and so we worry. That too really is a feeling. It's a feeling about something that has not happened yet. We may have control over the situation and can do something, or we may not have that control and can do nothing. It is hard not to worry. There's something that can happen, but try, if you can, to think about it like this. If we have no control, then there is no point in worrying and the pain it will bring. On the other hand, if we can do something, then we should.
Having said that, quite often worrying is easy because is comes automatically. To do something if we can may be a much harder option. I know it may seem an unkind way to look at this, and an easier said than done scenario.
Most of my life I have been a worrier. It was just part of my nature. Having said that, most of my life, for good or for bad, I had someone to think for me. Sadly, it was being controlled by someone else and not having the chance or opportunity to think about what I really wanted to do. The time eventually came when I had to start thinking for myself in order to survive and to change the terrible situation I was in, but it wasn't easy.
I had to learn to make my own decisions. This wasn't easy as not only did I have myself to look after, but also my two children. I have often thought did I make the right choice, but I could only do what I thought was the best at the time, and base my decisions on the limited experiances that I had had.
There is no point now worrying over the past, as it can't be changed, and if you are worrying then look at it this way. You have survived. Right or wrong we are still here and that is a blessing. Another positive we can take from this is that you have started, not through choice I know, to learn to think for yourself, and to be able to cope with the task in hand. If you made mistakes, well, they were made, and the best thing you can do is learn from them. As for me, I know that sometimes it is much easier to worry about my weight and possible weight gain than to actually do something about it. It's the difference between irrational thoughts going through your head and physically getting out there and doing something. Doing something takes more energy than thinking about something, but it does need to be done.
At the moment the anaemia I have is making things a lot harder for me, but I know I can't be held down by it. The iron levels in my blood are very low, which makes thinking and moving much more difficult than usual, but I am still the fighter I had to become and I refuse to let it take over my life. I learnt many years ago that I should not worry. If there was something I could do, no matter how small, I should do it. If you can't take fifty steps a day, then take twenty-five, or ten, or even two. You will still get there. Making that effort and knowing you are doing your best to enhance your life, is so much better for your peace of mind. Yes, you can make mistakes, but at least try your best, so that when you look back on the situation you will know that you did do your best. And your best is always better than nothing.
Until next time,
Love, Jackie
xx
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