IT'S ALWAYS A STRUGGLE BUT WE GET THROUGH IT

15^th July, 2020

It's been a while since I wrote my blog. It was coming up to my birthday and my husband had booked some holiday time off work so we could have some time to do the things we like to do together. I thought it would be nice to have a break and be more relaxed.

Trying to eat healthily and accomplish my weight loss can take over my life sometimes and as much as I try not to be obsessed, it is hard.

It's still very much a learning curve, but I am determined to not only lose the weight I need to, but also to keep it off.

I was still watching what I was eating, but relaxed this on my birthday and had some of the foods I love to eat.

That was lovely, but I then found the next day it was hard to go back to my usual diet. To incorporate all foods is important, but that is not always as easy as it sounds.

I am not too worried about drinking alcohol, I can take it or leave it, but I do like carbs and sugar. Call it nice bread, cake etc. etc. but it is carbs, pure sugar and fat and it has to be consumed in a balanced way with protein, dairy, fruit, vegatables, and fibre to get to and maintain a healthy weight. What I find is if I eat bread and cake and other sugary foods I want more. I am not alone in this, I know. Many of us are the same but I know I have to do my best to conquer this if I am going to succeed.

It was a hard week the week after my birthday trying to get back on track. I had been working so hard with my eating plan to lose weight and relaxing threw me off kilter.

I tried really hard and still managed to lose 2lbs. Perhaps it was because I had had my hair cut :-), but seriously I was so pleased I had not gone off the rails.

How many of us, me included, have gone to something like a slimming club, cut back on food all week to lose the weight we want, then once we come away from the club eat “bad foods” as a treat. Or, if we hadn't lost as much as we should then had “bad foods” because we were upset or disappointed. What happens then is that we give up because everything seems to be in black and white. We can't live without what we like and we put weight back on. We yo-yo diet. I have done this all my life and it's not good for your health or for your self-esteem. Now, for me, I have now reached 62 years old and not as young as some, so I have to break the pattern in my mind. My birthday was one of those times when the routine was broken and then, as I said, I found it hard to readjust. This was probably because I have been trying for eighteen months now to lose weight and I am getting bored. To have a real break was lovely but I discovered I still have a lot to learn if I am really going to crack this,

After a lot of thought I have given myself a good shake and am going to put a plan into action. I have come so far, have lost nearly five stone, and am not going to spoil things now. I have made a list of positive things that will help me focus on what I need to do. One of the positives of a group is there are other people there to share things with. I had decided a group was not for me for many other reasons so I had to work it out for myself. A group is once a week and we live with ourselves 24/7.

I made my list of things to work towards to help me focus.

1. Seeing the specialist about my joint replacements – Because of the lockdown and Coronavirus I am not sure when this will be. It should be in August but we will see what happens. I made an agreement to be 15 stone, so I still have 7 lbs to lose.
2. Hopefully we will have a family wedding in October if all goes well. I have now bought a dress, but have not been able to try it on yet as it a size smaller than I am and I hope it will fit and look good, It is only one size smaller and the wedding is three months away so it shouldn't be an impossible goal for it to fit.
3. I want to move on. I really want to be a more confident person and to be happy with who I am. As I move forward into next year and I move further along this journey, I want to find more ways to help others to know that they can come through the things I have been through, be a survivor and live a better, more complete life. I have not really worked out how I am going to do this but I will see where life takes me. I believe the opportunities are out there. I will find them and when I do I will be ready.
   I have my list of three things to work on and I will continue working on them to the best of my ability and see where it takes me. My birthday taught me I am human. I still have weaknesses, but that is okay no great harm done and we are never too old to learn lessons :-) The next half of this very strange year is in front of me and we will see where it takes me. Writing this, as always, has helped greatly, so I look forward to writing again soon.
   Jackie xx