Phoenix From The Ashes

March 25^th, 2020

Hello, it's been 5 years since I last wrote my blog, and what a mixed-up few years it's been, with health issues, feelings of failure – in fact very mixed emotions. I have had them all, but I will go into all that at a later date, hopefully being as honest as I can.

As some of you will know, I started writing this blog when I was trying to lose weight, not for the first... or last time, as it turned out.

I lost almost 10 stone and it really felt great. Then life got in the way as it so often does, and the weight came back on. It happened so slowly that I didn't realise what was happening (or was I in denial?) and there I was back where I started. I felt such a failure as I said, and then other things reared their ugly head and here I am 5 years later.

In that time I have had many demons to deal with, without a lot of help at all from professional sources, but eventually for my sanity I had to fight back.

Back in February, seems such a long time ago now, I happened to see there was going to be an appearance at our local library by Katie Portman, a local lass who is a blogger and writer, who was going to talk about herself and her new book. So I got a ticket, even though I didn't think I would actually go, because I would be going by myself. To cut a long story short, I plucked up the courage and went. I don't mind admitting that it was a hard thing to do, but I am so glad I did. Such a lovely lady, and talking to her after the talk she inspired me to start to writing again. I would do it!

I bought her book “ A Liitle Pick Me Up: Shining a Light On YourDarkest Emotions”, read it in less than a week, which as anybody who knows me is unusual as I don't read much :-), and thought to myself, this is it!

And then this madness we are now all in called Coronavirus started to be all too real. Uncertainty, worry and fear of the unknown surrounded me (and others, of course) all over again.

So a few weeks have gone by, and here in the UK we are in lockdown, like many other countries. Trying to cope with a new way of life, my motivation had sadly gone.

Then this morning, around 7 o'clock, I had to go out into our front garden and it was so warm and sunny I decided to sit out there with my coffee and watch the world go by for a while. Sitting there I saw a small percentage of human nature, travelling down the road in cars and people walking by. Some not so good and some cheery and great.

I thought we need to look at nature of both kinds and take inspiration from them. Life is too short, do something Jackie. So sitting there in our front garden my blog rose like a Phoenix from the ashes. Thank you again to those who have supported me through these last few years, especially my daughter, son and husband, who planted the seed to start my blog again and special thanks to Katie who watered that seed and helped it grow.

Jackie xx