NORMAL

10^th August, 2020

Normal! It's a six letter word, but what does it really mean? We have gone through some pretty strange times since the end of March and many things have become “The New Normal”. What is really nice is to be able to get back to doing some of the things we did before lockdown. It was lovely, back at the beginning of July, when our local tea room opened back up and we finally had somewhere to go and socialise.

On Thursday, I had an appointment at the hairdressers, and as it was at 5pm we decided that afterward it would be nice to go to one of our really nice local pubs which is literally opposite the hairdressers. Well we did, although we didn't have alcohol, but we did have something to eat. It felt afterwards as if for the first time in a very long time we had done something normal, although it's sad there is no live music yet.

It's really strange just how often you don't realise how nice it is to be able to do things until they are gone. Current times aside, it is so easy to get into a rut with the way we live, and forget to do the things we enjoy. Life can so easily become mundane.

The way we live can become stale. This may have happened during lockdown, but it can also happen when our lives have changed in oh so many ways.

We can forget who we were. I know, for me, when I put so much weight back on and was in so much pain from the arthritis I lost complete interest in how I looked, and didn't really want to go anywhere. It was just so easy not to bother and simply exist. Strangely it was as lockdown started that I started to realise what I had missed.

Before it was there and I didn't want it, now it was gone and I couldn't have it and it was a very strange feeling. I consciously started to realise that I wanted things back. What was happening with lockdown was happening to everyone. It was said that we were all in the same boat, but really we were in our own boats in the same ocean.

I spent my time finding out who I really was and making the best of the time to discover what I really wanted. I wanted to be normal, but normal is not really the word. I just wanted to do my best to help myself, my mind and my body, and to be able to do it without restriction of being different. For me, it is perhaps easier than for others. My differences are easily solved (sort of). I can't change my age, I need help with my disabilities, but losing weight can be done, and is on it's way to being done. During lockdown I lost 44 lbs which has made things so much easier.

Things should be different. Everyone's idiosyncrasies should not make a difference, but unfortunately the media, fashion industry, the slimming business, and ordinary people won't let it be that way. I will battle on with the things I believe are wrong and don't give ordinary people the justice they deserve.

Perhaps one day it won't be just a case of discovery of who we were, but who we can be should be and perhaps “normal” will no longer exist.

Until next time,

Jackie

xx