HOW GOOD REALLY IS THE INSIDE OF THAT BOOK?

6^th August 2020

How many of us judge someone by the way they look or sound. I try really hard not to but none of us are perfect. That old saying “Don't judge a book by it's cover” is so apt, but I must admit that when it comes to books it's sometimes backwards. What I mean is, when we are in a bookshop (Steve and I love bookshops) so many times I look at the artwork and think “Wow!” even though I would not really read the book. There must be a lesson to learnt from that, I'm sure.

I have always, even as a young girl, loved anyone that was different from the norm. One of my first heroes, if I can call him that, was Quentin Crisp. When John Hurt played him in the film "The Naked Civil Servant" I was so taken not just on how he looked, but his ideas about life, in what must sometimes have been very difficult times. I wish I could have met him, although I don't know if I could have coped with him in real life.

I have seen and been very lucky to talk to some very different people over the years and it was partly because they looked different and it felt right to strike up a conversation. There have been ex-Hell's Angels, a monk on a train and many flamboyant people in London, when I spent time in Carnaby Street and other times on my travels.

These conversations left me with feelings of enrichment and memories to keep.

As I said at the beginning, we shouldn't judge someone on how they look and if I had done that, I would have missed out, but I know I have done it at times and it's not good.

I would not like to treat someone in a way that I would not like to be treated, but what has happened to me over the years reminds me of this.

I have been judged for being British, for being in a mixed race marriage, for being a woman, for speaking with a Yorkshire accent, for talking “posh”, for using a walker, for having grey hair, for being fat. The list goes on, but I have come to realise that I am me and what you see is what you get, but it took some time to get there. All the time a person is being judged it can have such a impact on their confidence and at the very least make them feel unworthy.

When you have a disability, or a challenge as I like to call them (thank you Richard Osman), people can treat you as though you can't understand what is going on. It's my legs, not my brain :-)

Having said that, because I have silver hair it doesn't mean I am dithery or don't like fashion or care how I look.

Now we come to being fat, or obese as it's called. It don't always mean when you see someone that is carrying a little extra weight, or a bit more, that they are lazy or unhealthy. Yes, to carry extra weight can cause health problems, I know, but it is far more complicated than that. Being overweight can not be blamed for everything and used against someone when they go to the doctors with a sore throat or have anxiety. It also shouldn't be rolled out that someone who has a weight issue needs to eat less and move more and that is it.

It is, as I said, far more more complicated than that for so many people. If we all tried to accept people for who are are and what they looked like and took the time when we can to find out why they are the way they are, and what made them that way, we may perhaps not only help them but possibly also enrich our own lives.

Idealist, I hear some say, but what have we got to lose when the opportunity is there and perhaps we can all gain something from it.

I will continue to my best to treat others as I would like to be treated myself.

Until next time,

Jackie.

xx